Tell me something I don’t know.
THE LAST ONE
we’re up all night to get laxatives for this horrible diarrhea
if you’re about to take laxatives for diarrhea then I’ve got some urgent news for you comrade
if i was a skeleton i would just say “that really rattles my bones” in response to literally everything
fun statistics for adults!
“when I was a kid, I had no help with college tuition, I was hardworking and paid it all myself”
-Annual tuition for Yale, 1970: $2,550
-Annual tuition for Yale, 2014: $45,800
-Minimum Wage, 1970: $1.45
-Minimum Wage, 2014: $7.25
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 1970: 4.8
-Daily hours at minimum wage needed to pay for tuition in 2014: 17.3
I actually let out a pleased little squeak when I saw this because ohhh man, that is beautiful.
i cant believe this. i cant fucking believe this. i meant to send this to my boyfriend but instead i sent it to my boss right after i told her i was quitting all i wanted to do was make an inappropriate cookie joke but no i got mixed up texting two people at once and literally sent a picture of a chocolate chip cookie captioned “ooh she thique” to the fifty year old suburban mother of two of whom i have nothing but a strictly professional relationship with. after knowing me for almost a year and a half as a hard working and respectable employee this is the last thing i will ever say to her i can never go back to that shop again all because of this god damn cookie blunder What have i Done
“can i sign your yearbook”
My dad accidentally threw a cheese grater at me so I left the room and he yelled “come back here you ungrateful child” while laughing hysterically
Update my mom just told me that if I had even a ‘shred’ of decency I would go back in there
Update #2: my dad apologized and told me he had only done it for ‘the grater good’
when you have a lot of homework and not enough time